America's Birthday.
The festival;the funeral. William Blake's holy poetic genius, Los.
I move to Pilsen officially in a month. Goodbye white yuppie decadence.
Fireworks are pre-emptive.
My beard is a graveyard.
No more shirts or table cloths.
I'm coming home, coming home, coming home and I am throwing the mountain off of its hillside.
"Just a little joy juice in my cup."
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Come and Blow My Door Down
My friend Devin and I have been planning to WWOOF (Willing Workers on Organic Farms) for months now and have just over the past month started our real planning. The dream was to go to Oregon, pick fruit, grapes, make cheese, wine, design infrastructure-- it didn't matter but now every which way we look the dream gets narrower and narrower as though we are entering closets and not rooms.
We have talked with several farmers, all of which are kind, easy going, west-coasters but none of them seem to be in any rush to have workers though they all have made it clear that they need help. At this point I am not sure what to do but I know if I don't buy my plane ticket this will never happen, I will never know if farming is the kind of lifestyle I want, if even only for a temporary while.
I guess planning means planning, and it is not quick and it is not easy and being responsible and mature about the whole thing becomes even more trying. The more responsibilities I take on, the less I feel like a child, though I know that physically and cognitively I am no longer and am aware that this is not an overnight exchange--this transition has been a long process and probably an endless process.
This week I have exhausted so much effort into finding a new apartment, someone to sublease my apartment and figuring out how I am going to get home with some life in me by the middle of July but unique things have been happening, worlds are getting closer, and I am re-uniting with old friends. The other night I went to this amazing ballroom that had been converted into a venue where my friend now lives with several other wonderful people. I have also been talking with my ex-girlfriend who I have always held dearly and highly esteemed. I will get to see her and her band this week! Also, some former friends from the camp I worked at last summer (Israelis) are coming to visit on Tuesday!
What am I getting at other than despite the clouds of clutter that come thundering in, the breeze is just right when you need it. If this is too metaphorical for you...the right people come into your life at the right time and there is an energy that surrounds us and helps out when needed and one may call it god, or spirituality, or chance but I am sticking with good energy and good breezes for now.
We have talked with several farmers, all of which are kind, easy going, west-coasters but none of them seem to be in any rush to have workers though they all have made it clear that they need help. At this point I am not sure what to do but I know if I don't buy my plane ticket this will never happen, I will never know if farming is the kind of lifestyle I want, if even only for a temporary while.
I guess planning means planning, and it is not quick and it is not easy and being responsible and mature about the whole thing becomes even more trying. The more responsibilities I take on, the less I feel like a child, though I know that physically and cognitively I am no longer and am aware that this is not an overnight exchange--this transition has been a long process and probably an endless process.
This week I have exhausted so much effort into finding a new apartment, someone to sublease my apartment and figuring out how I am going to get home with some life in me by the middle of July but unique things have been happening, worlds are getting closer, and I am re-uniting with old friends. The other night I went to this amazing ballroom that had been converted into a venue where my friend now lives with several other wonderful people. I have also been talking with my ex-girlfriend who I have always held dearly and highly esteemed. I will get to see her and her band this week! Also, some former friends from the camp I worked at last summer (Israelis) are coming to visit on Tuesday!
What am I getting at other than despite the clouds of clutter that come thundering in, the breeze is just right when you need it. If this is too metaphorical for you...the right people come into your life at the right time and there is an energy that surrounds us and helps out when needed and one may call it god, or spirituality, or chance but I am sticking with good energy and good breezes for now.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Knuckles of glue
Cold pita bread reminds me of funerals and wakes.
I read today that "Loneliness is solitude with a problem." I am somewhere between these states.
Today, the Thai women behind the counter at Thai Spoon (which I generally admonish for lackluster food, in my head that is) giggled when I said, "Table for one please, for here," shocked to not hear me say, "To go."
Everything smells aquarium today.
A lonely New York that I am not apart of.
Yesterday I was violent and hurt nothing.
I should really not engage in arguments with children.
There is a farm that I plan to live on in Oregon.
I am reading poetry on Saturday for the the first time in a long time. I fear it could be a walk-off the stage kind of moment.
The pita bread that that has been reminding me of funerals and wakes I accidentally picked up from a concert last night thinking it was trash. Given that I am living off of change, this was a great find. Maybe that person left it there for me. Maybe they are wasteful.
Prestigious pre-school. That is the best thing I have heard all day.
I read today that "Loneliness is solitude with a problem." I am somewhere between these states.
Today, the Thai women behind the counter at Thai Spoon (which I generally admonish for lackluster food, in my head that is) giggled when I said, "Table for one please, for here," shocked to not hear me say, "To go."
Everything smells aquarium today.
A lonely New York that I am not apart of.
Yesterday I was violent and hurt nothing.
I should really not engage in arguments with children.
There is a farm that I plan to live on in Oregon.
I am reading poetry on Saturday for the the first time in a long time. I fear it could be a walk-off the stage kind of moment.
The pita bread that that has been reminding me of funerals and wakes I accidentally picked up from a concert last night thinking it was trash. Given that I am living off of change, this was a great find. Maybe that person left it there for me. Maybe they are wasteful.
Prestigious pre-school. That is the best thing I have heard all day.
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