If I think of her feet I'll die but I see them there. I want to listen to her band's CD but I can't even though I've been craving new music to listen to. When I go to bed there will be pictures in my head that won't resolve the feeling that there is a lot of space around me and it won't be filled anytime soon by flesh and a soft voice. I needed to get that out, I did.
Wisconsin--too much.
Chicago--I feel like I have figured it out and have seen a preview for the year to come. I'm afraid I will crawl into a hole and not come out, that hole being work. Full course load, auditing a course...if you know me, you know I don't work, except for school and school related things. I will be tutoring however, and an editor of an elitist magazine that is student run but seldom publishes students [I'm nervous that I just included that sentiment but it needed to be expressed]. No apartment. Still. I realized that art is something I really do care about, something I need to explore and squeeze and rub for a while. Visual art is something I'm really considering. I found a 35mm SLR today that I plan to get in working order and use soon. I'll start there and hopefully film ideas and a video camera will come later...writing is exhausting but I want to be exhausted and enraptured by it and be a better a writer because right now I could sell my poems on toilet paper and people would still find no use for them.
Minneapolis--great city but I can't think about it right now.
New Hampshire--I genuinely, for the first time, was not excited to come home but so far I am enjoying myself because I know I have changed and by that virtue things here will change, I'm optimistic of this at least. There is a new Mexican restaurant in town. It's the first. It's fine Mexican food which doesn't seem authentic in the least bit, but it was damn good and I will probably eat there whenever I can afford to.
As you can see, my writing style has changed. I am trying out this stacatto, stream of conciousness business punctuated mostly by periods and minimally by commas. I must say, though it is a rather constipated way of writing, it is very relieving (no poop pun intended...ok maybe a little bit).
Anywho, I wanted to reconnect with the blogosphere. I don't know who reads this and if I should even get great joy out of knowing that people read this but I am merely trying to keep my chops up and communicate something. Communicate something.
The anthropology of coming home.
as far as the 35mm SLR goes, i'd say take it to international camera over at 9 N. Wabash. They'll assess it for free and they fix it for cheap and in a timely manner, something central camera does not do.
ReplyDeleteI think that it's time that we all try out other areas of art, you know? Take time and effort to step out of what we generally willingly and forcibly throw ourselves into (as they are our chosen major). Broaden our creative horizons I suppose. It's more or less the state that i've been in since mid summer semester.
But I'll have you know, that I've found inspiration in your poems sr. I was planning to use them in both drawings and paintings. However, that could be a sweet installation piece if you did write your poems on toilet paper. just sayin'.
Blogging is pretty great though, i will admit. Even if no one does read your entries, it's still nice to know that what you were feeling is out there... you know as long as you wanted to get it off your chest or just wanted it out there.